Birthdays. You have one every single year no matter what. And of course they're supposed to be special-They're the anniversary of the day you came into this world. Most of us have great memories of when their parents threw them a pool party and every cool kid from school showed up, or when you had your 11th birthday at the movie theatre...Complete with jumbo sized popcorn and bags of candy you snuck in, inside your jacket. But what if your birthday memories are the ones that you were embarrassed, lonely and forgotten? Trust me, you are in no way alone.
At 12 and a half I was just starting to fall in love with fashion and the city. New York City was where I wanted to be, and Chanel was what I wanted to wear. I had even printed a picture of a Chanel necklace off the computer hoping that it wouldn't cost an arm AND a leg. My 13th birthday was coming up and it should be a lucky one! Turning 13 on the 13th? Why that's a golden birthday! My parents gift to me was plane tickets to Philadelphia. There my grandmother could take me to New York for te first time in almost 3 years was it now? I was so excited I could hardly breathe! My grandmother had flown down to celebrate my birthday. We were having a red carpet affair. I was going to ask my guests to dress up and walk into my house on a red carpet where we could have our photos taken and then enjoy an Italian meal on our lanai. But as the night before arrived all of my guests had called to say they were not going to my party. I can't even begin to estimate how long I had cried for. You know how hard it is to be in the seventh grade, desperately trying to fit in, and then have your own friends bail on you? Its a pretty shitty feeling.
When I woke up the next morning it was my 13th day and I was far from thrilled, however my mother had gone out of her way to buy me a bottle of Abercrombie & Fitch perfume, two ANF tanktops, a gift card to Sephora and martini glasses that were supposed to be used for my party that was now a flop. Those presents from my mother truly gave me the strength to even go to school that day. When I got home I was still afraid that I'd be the only one at my birthday party. And I still had nothing to wear. However when I walked in the door, my grandmother had given me a bag from-Oh my god was that BCBG Max Azira? It couldn't be! But it was. A white laced button in the front, dress...all of my own! I know that the dress wouldn't bring my friends to the party, but it sure did make me feel a little but better.Luckily my mom had invited the neighbors girl over for dinner so I wouldn't have to eat my pasta alone, but I was still heart broken deep down inside. It only got worse when my mother, who attempted to play bartender, spilt my fake martini all over my neighbors dress. By then, I wished I could evaporate right then and there.
When I look back at the story today I still remember how terrible I felt on the one day that was supposed to go perfect, because it was one day that the world had to pay the slightest attention to me. And although I was a loner, I still had a family who did whatever it took to put a smile on my newly teenaged face. And as I blew out the candles on my New York style cheesecake, I realized that as long as I was still breathing...a birthday was worth a celebration...no matter how small.
~Anchora Aweigh!~
Ashleigh xoxo
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